I was so dumb. My god most of you should hit me. anyways I don't have a lot of time to give you this big update.

I changed jobs and changed the way I was running with my life. Corey bullshit got really old, so in June 2008 I left him and started my life for the better with someone I meant at work. His name is Mikael, Mik for short. I love him so much he is everything I was looking for and at the sametime I didn't want. what I mean by that is that I always wanted someone that would treat me good and Mik is a sweet but as I was looking for someone to treat me good I was looking in the wrong places. Corey still love me and miss' me I hear from him now and then. Don't really care.

Ohh, I am having a kid. broke my ex Dan's heart that I am having a kid with someone else but then again it should I gave him more then one try to get back with me. I'll have to post a pix when I have my lil one. anyways

Later
Cher

Hey everyone sorry I have not been on here. I have been really to busy and also forgetting that I have this account. I even forgot the password.

Corey and I are still together. I can't believe that we are still together. His still being a dick to me. I was reading the post I have done and the comments that I have been getting. And thank you for caring.

I really need to fine out who I am and IF I want to stay with someone who gets a kick from hurtting me.

I have pushed away every guy who hits on me or wants to get with me. And still I keep feeling that "dream" guy I look for my have pasted or Corey is it.

While if he doesn't start asap showing me that he fucking love me and doesn't want me out of his life.
I'm not going to leave him.

If I would leave him. I would take time for my self and then I would try this again.

I don't know if this is right or even normal but I find my self still hating girls that Corey has hit on or even wanted him.
I'm doing the "mine!" thing. I hate Kara and Jeni with a passion.


Well I am going to go on a patrol and think of what I am going to do.
Corey knows he on thin ice. I told him.
I am not taking anymore s**T. no more calling me a S*ut,saying fu or telling me to F&CK ()ff.

Corey and I are doing really bad right now because I am sure he is fucking around on me. I know he is flirtting online aka Facebook. I know he is hitting on this girl named Ashley that he work with and my heart is breaking everyday that he dose that. I feel like shit and I can't eat or sleep. I know I am pretty and I know there is alot of guys out there that want to be with me but all I want is Corey. I feel like Corey doesn't want to be with me, going on how he acts with me. but when I am in my bed trying to sleep, All I keep crying about is that Corey lyed to me and he never really loved me. What did I do or Say that maded him want to flirt with other girls, or posbily f*ck them. My heart is hurtting from all the over working it is doing. **sign Cherie needs a hug**

Hey everyone!!! Long time on entire.lol anyways I thought I would give everyone a update. I am seeing Corey Oko now and have been since Jan.6,2007. We both had our up's and down. but we are still together and In love with each. I am working at Garda security now and kinda loving it. Like my relationship with Corey and anyother male for that madder...I have my ups and downs. I am once again a workaochlic and been trying my best to use up all my free time. I have not been getting very good sleep. or real any sleep. I only have my cell phone now. I am about 6,000 in the whole and if not less buy now. I am going to try to do my best to work my ass off and get all the Overtime I can. I would like to make (clear) 900.00 a pay cheque if not 800.00 I would love that! I have one of my old friends living with me he is buying is own food and paying helf of the rent. I am hoping that it will help me in the long run. so I don't have to get a 3ed job. I don't really see any of my "friends" or see my family. I am getting to the point were I don't care to anymore. My Car is...well I don't want to do there. I guess only one word for my car "Drama." or "Money-pit". But it is a car. so I arn't going to complain. I am losing my car because I got too many speeding ticket...actually because I never paid them. Now I have to pay them...HA! GO KARMA! anyways other then that I have been pretty good. If anyone of you guys out there want to Chat to me once again you can Via Facebook...Or Hotmail me. Or if you want to try call me. I would be more then happy to talk to you guys. anyway good bye!

I am so unhappy with my fucking life. I have no friends. My mother hates me. My father has and still doesn't want me in his life. I have no one to go to. Corey is there but not at the same time. I hate my fucking life. I feel like a peace of shit and the one thing I have is Yaz. and he doesn't even let me hold him most of the time. I am so fucking far in debt and I don't see my self getting out of it. Christmas and my Birthday is going to suck. My mother did want to go out on the 3ed for everyones birthday. I don't want to go. I feel like she hates me. She can't stop telling me how I am a waste of space. she makes me want to kill my self. I wish he would stop doing that to me.

I feel safer writing on here then I do on my face Book. I have my ex/boyfriend on there. I still don't know what is going on with everything. I actually have been doing kinda good with keeping a lot of things in(shut up sean ) anyways I got told off. for once I have someone I am still kinda dating actually telling me what I am doing wrong and what is pissing him off. AND also telling me what I can do. so I am doing so. so if you don't hear or see from me in the next month or so. I am okay and I still care about you all.
:) I am think of just coming on here once a month to up date you. I am going to me working on changing my thinking patten.

love you all
Cher

good bye. forever

Hey so I got told by one of my good friends today that some of my other friends are blaming my new boyfriend for the way I have been.

I am just sick and tired of being used. Of having friends who don't call. And don't care about me.

so if I didn't give you my new number...there one or two reasons for this one. you don't care, so I don't want you in my life. or two I just haven't got to you yet.

I told you all that I was going to do this. and I am happy that I have gotten this back bone. I know you guys will not like it but oh well.

later

Just For you to know I am mad at some of you out there. I haven't talk to you because I have nothing to say to you or you have pissed me off to the point were you are not my friend anymore. I have one guy I am pointing that to know. The rest of you I have been to busy to chat to you guys. lol Kauz and Sean know what I mean. This is my point if you can't make time for me when I have made time for you and on top of that gone out of my way to call you, then fuck you! You are not my friend anymore and I don't really want to talk to you anymore!!!

Cher

I don't care anymore...I am sure that my boyfriend wants to be with me and only me....sigh....add more later

My only reason for not liking Dispatch is that my 2 friends that work for OBO Security with me. Don't talk to me anymore....actually the is only 4 people I have talk to on the phone in the past week. 1) My Boyfriend 2)Sean 3) My roommate 4) And whoever is checking with me.

man that is sad....

Hey so this is fucked. I sm to be on a date with my boyfriend. the game is on and I am getting the feeling of unhappiness and like I am a toy again. Mind you I think it is all in my head but is because I know better. I am listing to music and not paying any kind of attention to him. Why should I? He doesn't with me. I haven't seen him in a fucking week and all he want to do is watch the game and drink. Yes, I should only care that I get to him and be happy that he is around BUT I want to do something with him. and for once I wouldn't like to hang out with him and not having him drinking. *sigh!* But I am just bitching but that is what a blog is for. I don't think I am going to see him for a long time....well see. I kinda want to be alone right now.

Thinking about it. I am sure some of the things he could bitch to me about is me always on the computer or playing with my MP3 player.(the new mp3)

In his words "Whatever Fuck!"
p.s.-I miss Gerry and I know now that Gerry won't have me back.....I asked :(

So I found out of Friday when I was talking to my Boyfriend that he is on Crack. I want to laugh and Joke about it. ie: what are you on crack. But he is. He does it once in a "blue moon" ie. one a week or ones a month. He thinks that he has it in control. But we all know that drugs take control of you.
I have to think if I want to keep him around and lose someone who is a nice guy and that does some off the cutiest things. ie. making my bed and cleaning my room.( servant_o_foamy knows what I mean).
Mind you I could lose him to this drug where he is not him self and being an asshole to me, or could be died because he was careful with it.
oohh I dont know..shit time to go to work...later
Cher

So here is the new rules that I was give from the new boyfriend.
1) I can only flirt with him. So not calling anyone dear,hun,love,babe, sexy and so on.
2) No other man it to touch me. sorry Jay you can't grab my ass anymore
3) I am not to smack my friends ass anymore.
4) I am not have a dirty mouth anymore. I am to watch what I say and think before I say something.( according to him some of the things I say are "shut" and "whore" like. "I don't want a shut or a whore, I want a girlfriend." he said to me one the phone)

mmmm I don't think he has anyother problems with me....

hahaha Good thing I don't see him a lot. and I won't hehehe

Go Work! :)

So I met up with my Boyfriend. Who wasn't happy with me and didn't even want to talk to me. But after explaning why I need time to my self....so now corey is going out for a beer with kara...here is were the trust comes.This fucking sucks

Hey so I have to be up at 0800 am and I can't sleep. I keep on talking to Corey( The Boyfriend) and I keep on getting the feelings to end it. One of my friends from work likes him and I am starting to think that he likes her back. I am not happy about this but at the same f**cking time there is nothing at all that I can do about it. I want to finally want someone that wants me. Corey and I were talking about this Girl that likes him...well actually see is kinda in love with him. or was but anyways. We were talking about her and disusing the fact the she flirts with everyone. I was just getting conferable with the idea of them working together with out me there. and he had to go and say something dumb like " ya I saw that I was like what dose she see in him." My Boyfriend got jealous that the girl that likes him(that is not me) wasn't flirting with him. or as he said he "didn't feel special anymore". I want to cry but I see no point in crying. I don't even want to talk to him. I am so hurt that my boyfriend may want another women...I am starting to think that there is something really wrong with me. why am I always with the losers? later c

so I don't really know what I am on here writing for. But I guess because I felt like it. I have a weird and very odd feeling going thou my body. I don't know if it is because I talked to Gerry again. Or if it the warning bells going off in my head. I am not going to start writing about my Bf on here. I don't think he would like that. And I am doing my best to not fuck up this relationship. my head hurts and I am very bored. I think I am not use to being in a relationship. and I think this is why I was staying away from getting into one. I know Ger and I relationship was somewhat a good one when we had one. We could be our own person. No one to answer to. Don't get me wrong, my boy and I have a good relationship. But if you know me you know what I am getting at. That I am on my toes again. Doing my best not to do past mistakes. I really have been hurt to many times. I know I have done some of the hurting .
I couldn't ever see myself in a relationship again. I thought that the last one was the end. I guess not. Ever since I ended the thing with Gerry, I had a lot more guys wanting me. Now I have to tell them all that we can just be friends.
I am starting to because the kind of person were I like being in my shell. Shy, and quiet. I think I am going to see my grandmother on Wednesday. I haven't seen her for sometimes. There are time I feel like she doesn't like me. Actually I do feel alone most of the time. I know my cuzin's don't like me. I am so jealous of my brother still it is not funny. He getting alone with everyone in our family better then I do. He has a great job. He got his drivers. A Girlfriend that care about him. Great Friends. Man even when I was seeing my father, he was only using me to see to get to my brother. I think that is why was so hurt when Chris left me(and still kinda is) I actually saw and felt like I was someone. I want to feel loved like I use to be. But I keep shutting my self down to the world. Most day I don't feel like I would be missed.
I am thinking about in the summer of getting my back done. well the top of my back done.
I think that I have said to much again. well I don't think it really madder on how much I say know cares anyways.
later...I guess

btw I have inclued a bad pix of my boyfriend and I. *note there maybe two pic of us. I didn't want to upgrad my account.*

Roomie From Heaven

When it comes to doing household duties, you pitch in when the need arises without waiting to be asked. You rarely have parties or invite the gang over without consulting your roomie; as a respectiful space-sharer, it's the least you can do.

You always secure approval before using your roomie's things. In money matters, you take initiative when registering bills in your name and pay communal bills before you incur collective late fines. You lay down the law when you have to, but are exceedingly diplomatic and manage to smooth over potential powderkegs before full-fledged fights break out.

In short, you are an agreeable, hygienic, communicative, motivated, emotionally intelligent roommate who will get along with many types of people that you may find yourself sharing a place you call home with for a period of time during your life.